Summer is officially here! And that is news to no one…because the month of June brought the HEAT this year! People are sweating going to their mailbox (at least I hope that’s not just me) and daydreaming of their planned vacations. June just might be my favorite month. It’s hazy, lazy, and slow. It’s pool days and ice cream nights. It’s car windows down, the music turned up. Sunglasses on, shoes off. It’s my birthday and…Father’s Day. Yep. I love June, but would I love it this year?
With my birthday on the 16th and Father’s Day on the 17th this year, I didn’t exactly know how to prepare myself. I’m still not sure I know, nor do I think it’s really possible to ever be ready for a guessing game of emotions. It would be a never-ending game of Clue….
Player 1: “Kara, uncontrollable sobs, in the kitchen, with birthday cake.”
Player 2: “Nahhh…I got Kara, no motivation to do anything, in her bed, probably still with cake.”
(Listen…Cake is important, people. Buy a cake and my family will come. Cake can be had, happy or sad.)
Anyway, let’s all agree that turning 31 is not the most exciting age in the first place. So, with this realization in addition to the fact that it’s my first birthday without my dad, would it still be good? When anyone asks “did you have a good birthday?”, could I answer yes and actually mean it? Will any birthday be good from here on out? Thankfully, I can tell you the answer is yes. It was good in a new way, I don’t think it will ever be the same as years 1-30. But, what I do know is I have an amazing family and husband who made sure it was the right amount of fun mixed with the perfect amount of laid back. With a Braves game, a massage, way too much shopping, and, duh, CAKE… my cup runneth over from their love and excitement to make it a positive in a year of “meh”. They succeeded and I cannot thank them enough for knowing that I needed it.
So, in their honor, I wanted to recreate that positivity for Father’s Day. I didn’t want to undo their hard work of smiles on Saturday by crying on Sunday. I know Dad wouldn’t want that either. Adam and I hiked up Kennesaw Mountain so I could talk to him at his bench. As I approached the top, I wanted to cry. The tears were stinging under my sunglasses. I wanted to be spending this day WITH him. And just in time, the sun began shining, dedicating its own ray like a spotlight to his bench as I spotted it. It’s now covered with wildflowers and a beautiful, clear view of our town. And in that moment, I knew I was already spending the day with him. He said hey in his own ways all day on Sunday and I wore his hat while we had a family pool day before the rain came in.
When I think about the weekend, a text conversation with Dad comes to mind from last year…in June. We were all stressed, none of us really knew what we were up against and for how long. So as my birthday approached and I learned of an Apple Watch bought for me, I begged for it to be taken back. I didn’t want it, I didn’t want to enjoy anything to do with me while one of my own was in more pain everyday. I texted Dad saying it was a nice gesture, but I just wanted it returned.
His response? “We’re always going to celebrate you…no matter what”.
WOW. What an unselfish love I was given in his dark times. A bigger lesson was taught than I was ready for in that moment. But I get that lesson now.
To Celebrate. Celebrate your people, make them feel that love. If they’re at their lowest, lift them up. Celebrate the people who aren’t here anymore. Finding new ways without them hurts, but it also heals. Celebrate the hard days, because you made it through them stronger. Celebrate the good days, because why the hell wouldn’t you?
So, do I LOVE June? You’re darn right I do. Hello 31, I’m thankful for another trip around the sun.